Österike


Vi på LG2S lämnar inget åt slumpen. När vi ville ha en artikel om Österike så lät vi tre österikiska lufferz skriva en artikel. Och här är den! (av: Gitti och Julia)

Austria - a mysterious country that nobody seems to know anything about. Although there are many famous things that have their origin in Austria: Mozart, Sigmund Freud, Hitler, the wonderful “Schnitzel"and even the energy drink Red Bull. Actually Austria is a very diverse country. You can find practically everything from mountains, large plains, lakes to big cities and glaciers.

The folks that live in the Austrian mountains are a bit strange. They speak a dialect which is incomprehensible for all other Austrians. Additionally they teach helpless tourists on practically endless slopes how to ski and drink schnaps. In the south of Austria there’s the federal state Carinthia. There you’ll find a bunch of people who are unable to think and are governed by a strange man called Jörg Haider. By the way: that’s one of the reasons you better not make jokes about Nazis in Austria.

Vienna is the exceptionally big capital of Austria, at least in comparison to the rather small size of the country. More than a million people live there and they all feel pretty superior to the rest of Austria. Vienna is really worth a visit, not only for Japanese tourists. Actually Austria is pretty stamped by tourism. And, like every good European, Austrian people hate German tourists who take over most of the Carinthian-Tyrolean axis in summer and winter. It is important to know that for an Austrian there is nothing worse than being taken for a German. Actually, NOT being a German makes up for most of the Austrian identity. One of the most important events in the Austiran history is the one football game in which they bet Germany. That game took place in the 70ies. Since then the Austiran team hasn’t even won against the Faroe Islands..

The international media scene is not exactly keen about Austria, except if a catastrophe takes place. It is amazing how many tourists die in Austria: they are killed in cablecars by fire, are buried under avalanches or drown in grots. At the moment Austria is governed by a conservative party (ÖVP), although the country actually has a long socalist tradition.. The Austrian government is known for intellectual brilliancy.. One politican, for example, proposed a tax on condoms to raise the birth rate. Brilliant, isn’t it? The former secretary of interior believes that movies are for real and proposes surveillance models which he saw in the movies. Oh yes, and the newest idea is that children of immigrants who have to repeat a class cant get the Austrian citizenship anymore.

In Austria people drink a lot of beer, but also wine and schnaps. Many people commit suicide and a machine that produces matches was invented in Austria. Acutally quite a few excellent and internationally known jazz-musicans and electronica-acts come from Austria, but if you are an Austrian rock or pop band you’ll never make it across the border. The second coolest city in Austria is Graz and there are towns which are called Fucking and Petting.